Monday, May 25, 2009

AHH!

I hope NO ONE saw that last post with my resume and stuff. eek. sorry about that.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

THINKING ERRORS.

This past week has been the most bittersweet of my entire life. I wish I remembered enough of it to tell you of each and everyday, but I only remembers tidbits, and honestly I'm not even sure what day they happened on. The following story was the most emotional of all:

THE MACBOOK COMES:
We were making ice cream in Chemistry when my world almost fell to pieces.

"Will Mary Garvin please come to the office?" The overcom asked my school.

I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. I knew the principal was about to ask me about my progress with graduating early and what not, and it's hard to explain in a good way. How do you tell someone that you still have to take an entire semester long class to take and pass it in one week before graduation? It doesn't matter if you assure the person that it's an extremely easy class and that you will finish it within three hours at the very most. They're still going to freak out.

But before I had even made it through the office door, I found out that it was going to be my principal explaining the bad news, not me.

"Mary, has Mr. Terrel told you that you may not walk the stage?" My Aunt Sherry said to me outside of the office. She had just gotten out of a meeting with Mr. Terrel about the graduation slide show that she's in charge of. Apparently, the two were discussing who may not walk the stage, and thus not be included in the slide show, and I was one of them.

"What? No!* Mrs. Schkade said..." I said, trying to resist slipping into the now spinning room.
"No, honey. You may not get to walk. It's because you are missing grades in your correspondence class from Tech. He needs those grades and your final exam grade before he can let you walk," she said.

I don't remember exactly what happened after she said this. My skin was clammy and the sound of my heartbeat was muffling the sound of whatever she was saying.

Sherry held my hand and guided me into the principal's office so we could all talk together. My face was either bright red, or green. I know this because every time I turn one of those colors, people are more inclined to helping and feeling sorry for me.

Mr. Terrel pushed a piece of paper towards me and my aunt that had all of my grades from the Texas Tech English class. There were three missing. The first was lesson four, and one that my teacher and I have been pestering Tech to post on the internet. I explained that to each of them, but neither really seem to understand. The second was my outline and works sited for a research paper. It was turned in, and waiting to be graded.

"Well what about this lesson seven? What's that business?" Mr. Terrel said.

I then explained that lesson seven is the research paper. I, again, tried as hard as I could to explain that I couldn't turn that lesson in until my teacher graded lesson six, but that I had already done the research paper and as soon as I got my grades back, I would only have to click send to have that lesson completed.

"Okay. Good deal. What about lesson 8?" Mr. Terrel said.

"Lesson eight is the final. I can only request the final once lesson seven is turned in. Basically, all I'm doing now is waiting on Tech," I said.

I thought this could ease his tension and I hoped to God he would say, "Oh! Well what am I freaking out about? Of course you'll walk the stage then!"
But this is not what he said. Not even close.

"You know, Mary," Mr. Terrel said leaning back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. "If you would've taken care of business sooner we wouldn't be dealing with this dilemma."

That hurt, but not nearly as bad as this.

"I've been asking you all year if you've been taking care of business, and What did you say?" He asked.

"I said yes," I whispered.

"But you haven't. And now we're having to rush," he said. "This is a lesson you need to learn, Mary. But I'll tell you what, this will never happen again, will it?"

There was an odd twist of encouragement in his words, but I still felt humiliated. I felt like he thought I lied to him, and that's what hurt the worst.**I left, and spent the next three hours in Mrs. Schkade's office crying my eyes out. I was absolutely humiliated. I didn't want my teachers to think I was a procrastinating, irresponsible, care-free, lying kid, but that's exactly how I felt for those three hours.

Sherry stayed with me for a long time in Mrs. Schkade's, and I'm not sure if I've ever felt so loved. I've always felt inadequate to Sherry and her picturesque family. Sherry's daughter, Suzete, is going to be giving the Valedictorian speech at graduation, and I might not even get to walk the stage. So when Sherry stayed there with me, it was both humiliating and re-newing.

Mrs. Schkade found out that I can drive to Lubbock on Tuesday to take my English final and ensure that I can graduate friday (if I pass it, that is). I eventually stopped crying long enough to go to one class before lunch, which was nice. Even though I didn't see it then, everything was going to be OK.

When I got home, I realized that there was a package on my doorstep. My Macbook had finally arrived.

It was beautiful. I opened it incredulously and ran my fingertips along it's soft aluminum cover. The keys lit up when I touched it, the graphics were clear and every thing was the way it was supposed to be.

Ten minutes later, my next door neighbor brought over something the UPS guy let her sign off for when I wasn't there. It was my Adobe Web Design Premium software. I hugged her, refrained from crying, and went back inside. I grabbed my new treasures and held them tightly to my chest as I walked to my room. There, I set everything out in order from most important to least. First-the MacBook. Second, the Adobe software. Third, the printer, and fourth the cable that connects my printer and computer into holy technological matrimony.

I sat back and pinned my eyes on the ceiling. I closed them. I opened them. I inhaled. I exhaled. I realized things, I tried to forget others. I tried to make a mental checklist, but couldn't. Everything stopped.

In the midst of everything sucking and hurting, in the midst of feeling like a failure and hypocrite, I remembered the blessings. I sat back up and stared at my Macbook. It was no longer a utility that I'd be using in college and for my own amusement, it was a symbol of blessing. God's blessing. It reminded me that everything was going to be OK because God said so. I know God said so because he knows my love language.

I feel most loved when people give me things. It's my "love language." And here God is, throwing Macbooks and scholarships at me. Not to mention the great graduation presents and what not (Mr. Yearger, my art teacher, gave me a Bamboo, and Mrs. Raymond and The Jone's got me towels. Oh! And Brittany Strebeck called me and gave me photo tips). Every good and great thing comes from God, and I'm so glad that I know and believe that. All of His constant blessing reminds me that he loves me and that I'm on the right course, even if there are bumps along the way. I will pass all of my finals. I will get to walk the stage. I know it.

You know, there must be some kind of specific reason God wants me at ACU next year, and I'm really excited to see what that purpose is.

*THINKING ERROR NUMBER ONE: I always figured that since I'm a "good kid" that Mr. Terrel would let me walk the stage and just give me a piece of paper instead of my diploma if my grades from Tech weren't in. Mrs. Schkade (my counselor) seemingly agreed, or at least thought it feasible, so I wasn't worried about it. Especially since there was really nothing I could do. This, however, was not the case. I am so, so glad I learned this lesson before going to college.
**THINKING ERROR NUMBER TWO: I truly thought that two weeks was plenty of time for my teacher to grade my research paper and final, but it's really not. I didn't realize that I'd have to wait on my teacher to grade everyone elses work and finals. Unlike the teachers at Albany High School, these people don't give anyone special treatment. There is no "Good kid" or "bad kid" at any time, especially around finals. To Tech, I am just another kid that procrastinated.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Apples are red, the sky is blue,

And my new Canon All-in-one photo printer is white! IT'S HERE IT'S HERE!!!

Hooray!!!
Today was an eventful day. KaCee and I drove to Abilene after I got off work to see Heidi's baby, Erin. She's BEAUTIFUL. She's also very big. Nine pounds!!
Then we went to the mall to get clothes and return stuff, and I got some awesome $4 boots from Wetseal and a bunch of job applications (Wetseal. American Eagle, Books-a-million, and The Buckle). Then we went to star bucks and got AMAZING, amazing drinks.

This blog is short and choppy because I need to go edit pictures, fill out job applications, read, study, and shower before midnight and it's 10:30. See yah! I'll post pictures of everything later.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Lookie lookie!


+

=


Remainder (AKA carry-on):

My trial packing session for Europe was a success! Hoorah! I packed MORE than necessary AND it fit in that tiny suitcase under 60 LBs (I, of course, had to weigh it. 22 LBs!). If you're wondering why I'm packing magazines, I'm not. I am playing a trick on you, dear reader. Those are only there to estimate how much room I'll have to the magazines I plan to buy in every country/city (ESPECIALLY in London).

Okay, I'm off to watch the Will and Grace DVD Melany's letting me borrow. Toodles!
P.S. I'm not doing my 'To graduate" list, because nothing has changed. Just FYI.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I kid you not.

I just wrote a six page research paper in one day. WHERE IS THIS HARD WORK COMING FROM?! Where has this been all year?! I'VE NEEDED YOU, HARD WORK! Anyway, here's the list now:

THINGS I NEED TO DO TO GRADUATE:
[x] English Four, Semester one
[x] English Four, Semester two
[x] Economics
[x] Government
[] Social Issues
[] Career Explorations

Holy crap. I can't believe it. Wow. Ahhh....my brain hurts.


OKAY, not I have to make a list of finals, because I made one in my composition notebook, and now it has to be on here too. I can't exclude you from my lists!! How cruel that would be.

FINALS I HAVE TO PASS TO GRADUATE:
[] Chemistry
[] US History
[] Junior English
[] Journalism (AKA Cleaning Mr. Lucas's room. It's a strenuous final)
[] Algebra II
[] Economics
[] English Four, semester one

The reason I don't have to take the Government, English Four semester two, Social Issues, or Career explorations final is because...well, I really don't know. I took them through the school instead of Texas Tech online, and I just don't. Booyah! Speaking of Texas Tech, I am quite worried that I won't get my Economics or English Four semester one final before graduation. I ordered them through the mail like four weeks ago and theyre still not here. It's okay if they don't get here in time. The principal said so. So you know, his word=gold. I'll still walk the stage and take the final whenever they get here and then get my diploma. Kind of a bummer, but oh well.

I'm so tired right now. Blah. I even got up early today. Insanity. Now I'm off to do a trial packing session for the Europe trip. I'm seeing if I can fit everything I need in a back pack. (BAHAHAAHA!) We shall see.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This blog shall have no title because I'm EXHAUSTED!

For the next couple of blogs (if I have time to write them) will look like this: I will have a list that says "Things I need to do to graduate" and I will put little x's next to the things that I've finished. One, because I LOVE doing this, and it keeps you people up to date. And two, It makes me feel all accomplished. Why I think you'd care, I don't know. I for one thing it's very interesting. But you know. I'm...me. Anyway, if it's sounds like I'm bragging, I'm not. I'm too tired to be full of myself. Oh, by the way, I'm not including classes that I'm actually taking at school. Just the ones I'm taking online, and I'll check them off even if I haven't taken the final, because that's just kind of a given.

Just to make this clear, I really wish that I could make the following things seem as cool as they do in my composition notebook. Listing & crossing things off is one thing, listing them and putting little boxes with check marks beside them is another. The checked-box system just seems so much more fulfilling. So, for now, we're going to improvise.

THINGS I NEED TO DO TO GRADUATE:

[] English Four, Semester one

[x] English Four, Semester two

[x] Economics

[x] Government

[] Social Issues

[] Career Explorations

Only three classes left! This may seem a lot to jam into two more weeks, but keep in mind that Social Issues and Career Explorations are two very easy courses, and will seriously not take me very long at all. I'll be able to stay after and school and finish them and what not. The only thing left to do in English Four semester one, is a research paper which I am one page away from finishing. After that, I'll have my normal finals (History, English Four semester one, Junior English, Algebra, and Chemistry). Now that's a lot, but it's expected and many people have to do this so I'm not complaining.

I went to Saturday school (voluntarily again) and worked from 9am-2pm and finished English Four semester two. It was AWESOME. If I can finish a freaking British Lit course in one day, I can definitely handle Social Issues and Career Explorations in two weeks. As long as I can for sure spend next Saturday at school, I'll definitely be fine. Yahhoooo!

My graduation invites came out AWESOME. My dad did the photography, I got to design them. The first one was the front of the invitation, and the bottom photo is the back. I was pleased. I also had to send all 100 out in ONE DAY. And surprisingly, I did it. Apparently all I need to do to be productive is have lots of pressure applied, and to follow my checked-box system.

So I think I've mentioned how I'm going to Europe this summer, but I've never really gone into detail about it. A bunch of people from my school are going together under a program called Explorica. We're leaving June 10 to go to places like London, Paris, France, Rome, Venice, Switzerland, etc. I"m euphorically excited. I went shopping for clothes to take last night. After much internal debate, I decided to just buy a ton of v-neck shirts and jean capri type things and skinny jeans. I also bought some really cool O'neils. Never heard of 'em before, but I found them at Journeys and
they were super cool. They look like Asics, and are really colorful. I'm considering posting pictures of everything I bought before I leave.

I just spent close to two or three hours at the Jones' house. They're this older couple in town that are very well known and sweet, sweet friends of the family. I love them. I told them all about my summer and career plans and they showed me a book that had all the first pages of the New York Times for the 1800's to 2009. Absolutely amazing. I was completely infatuated with it.

I ordered my Macbook! I don't know if I told you this (I'm very tired. Too tired to read my own blogs to see if I'm being repetitive. Sad huh?), but I ordered it a few days ago. KaCee came and helped me. At first, I think we both kind of thought I might not need help, but then when we were checking out over the phone I got at dyslexic with the credit card number and she had to read it for me to the guy. It was a very, very good deal. She was also wearing a very pretty dress that day....

My mom says I might have to get bifocals. Yeah, I know. I've been having trouble seeing things. Like, I can see, but when I look at something far away, and then switch to looking at something closer, it takes a while to adjust. It's very annoying because it's been making me run into more walls than usual.

Tuesday is my last day at the Old Jail. Sad day. Shaela's going to make me a coke float:)

The goal was to work on my research paper tonight, but I'm really tired so I might not be very productive. Eh. I should go try. See yuuhh.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The list blog!

Everyone loves these.
Things I think are funny about myself that Emily pointed out today:
My dorm will most likely be stocked with the following:
Gallons of water (which I will drink from the lid)
Cans of peas
Boxes of Premium Saltine crackers
Boxes of life cereal
Chocolate
Pairs of stinky, over-worn black flats
Mounds of dirty laundry
A filing cabinet full of many, many copies of newspapers, resumes, portfolios, and etc.
Anything and everything ridiculous (Buble furniture, tie dye blankets, over-sized lava lamps...)
Augusten Burroughs books
My macbook (which I will never, EVER leave alone)
Things I need to do with that last mentioned item:
Put freaking logos on all my photography on facebook, myspace
Transfer all music, writings, and photos from old computer
MAKE EVERYTHING PRETTY
Start building website :D
Things I need to do to graduate:
Semester one of English (Will be done after this stupid research paper and final)
Semester two of English (Currently working on)
Economics (Waiting on stupid final)
Government (CHECK CHECK CHECK!)
Blow off class (?????? Not check. No check at all?!)
Things I need to do tonight:
Clean my room
Clean the kitchen
Start research paper
Open checking account (CHECK!)
Things I'm going to do instead:
Ordering a macbook!
Continue reading ACU's awesome literary magazine
(Maybe) Start research paper
Being a slob
Blogging!
Things I'm super pissed off about:
My ACU shirt is DEFINITELY NOT HERE, and needs to HURRY UP!
My computer is just too slow for my satisfaction (but no worries! macbook comin' soon!)
Maggie can never hang out because she's always doin' stuff with family. This makes us sad.
Time goes by way too fast
Things I'm extremely excited about:
I have a lot of family flying in to watch me GRADUATE!
I actually finished my comic today for newspaper (BLAHHH!) which is AWESOME, because it was my LAST ONE EVER!
I just ordered my macbook (will get here on May 21) and STILL have time to clean the kitchen and make a yummy dinner
I made a "to do" list the other day, and got EVERYTHING checked off (okay, except for ONE thing, but that shouldn't count)
I'm GRADUATING! It's really happening!
Dad gave me some mula for Europe
Oh yeah, I'M GOING TO EUROPE!
I'm going to my "dream school"
And last, but NOT least, GOD IS GOOD.
YAAYYY

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I heart pink things.

I went to Lowe's last night to get some paint and wood to paint on. I don't believe in canvas, just ginormous pieces of wood. Anyway, I got some AWESOME metallic silver, hot pink, and black spray paint as well as some letter and number stencils for my summer mural project. I want to get two 4x8ft pieces of (some sort of) wood, but since I wouldn't be able to fit that ANYWHERE, I might just get one piece. I'm going to ask my room mate if she minds if I bring it with me to ACU and it can be our own mobile Doodle Wall.

Oh yeah! I got a room mate! She is AWESOME! I met her while taking the ACT yesterday at ACU. We got to talking and really hit it off. Love at first sight sort of thing, but in a room mate, non-lover kind of way. She was wearing James Avery, of course it was going to work. I'm not going to tell you her name, because some people are really paranoid about giving everyone on the Internet their name, and I'm not sure how she feels about this. haha. She's a music education major and plays piano, guitar, and trumpet. Which is awesome, because I want to play piano and am learning guitar. I'm going to be her practice student. haha Another thing that is awesome is that she is awesome at math-and I am not. I am awesome at English-and she is not. We compliment each other. haha If all goes well, we could be each other's tutor.

We decided that our dorm is going to be absolutely absurd. We are going to have pink kitchen appliances and Hello Kitty toasters. I still want a freaking tye-dye blanket, but am having no luck finding one. I also want a lava lamp (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE), and rope light to hand on the corners of the ceiling.

Yes, that's right. We are going to have a groovy dorm.

In addition to finding an AWESOME roommate, I did good enough on my ACT to get $2,500 a year for four years! YAHHOOOO! I was not expecting this at all. (People, just to make this clear, I am in NO WAY bragging, just sharing what's going on in Maryville.) Here's why:

I did not study for the ACT at all. I googled it, and there were no useful study guides, so I just said nope, no studying. Plus, I've taken it before, and knew that there aren't a whole bunch of ways to study. I also forgot my graphing calculator, AGAIN, and had to use my less-innovative-but-still-functional-and-useful-calculator-that-my-Dad-bought-me-fifteen-minutes-before-the SAT-last-weekend. So that didn't help. I like those phrases with the - dealies. Don't know if I'm doing it right, but it's fun.

During the math portion I realized how hungry I was and could not for the life of me focus on anything but Red Robin chicken strips (AKA Clucks and Fries) and chocolate milkshakes. During the science section I kept thinking, "Someone kill me, now." "Please God, kill me, and then bring me back after this stupid test is done." "Holy crap! Why did I sign up for this test?!?!" And then, finally, "Screw it. I'm just answering C on all of these."

The most cruel thing of all, probably my ONLY reasonable objection to the ACT other than it's hard to study for, is that they placed the science portion at the end. It's mainly just reading a bunch of graphs, but after 250+ questions mostly involving paragraphs of reading, I was in NO MOOD to read, and marked C on over half of it. The beauty of the ACT is that you don't get counted off for wrong answers, so by guessing C, I was just increasing the possibility of getting more points. So it was good stuff. Especially since I will not get scholarship money for it.

I e-mailed a bunch of photography studios in Abilene yesterday begging for a job or internship. Hah, I left Brittany Strebeck (brittanystrebeck.blogspot.com) a comment on facebook saying that I feel like following her around on photo shoots because she is JUST THAT COOL, and she said she'd love it. Clearly, she does not know that that was a very serious comment trying to be pulled off as a joke because even I know it's a little absurd. But hey, maybe it will happen :)

I found out that my cousin and his fiance are going to be on ANOTHER reality show. His fiance is a big-time model in LA (I know, right?), and her agent was like, "Hey, how would you and your fiance like to be on a reality show?" haha. So, that's what's going on there.

I'm going to Saturday school voluntarily today. haha I need to get a bunch of stuff done. I'm such a nerd.

Before I go, I have to tell you how truly loved I feel by God right now. ACU is working out more than perfectly, I am happy, early graduation is actually going to happen, and throughout all my doubts and fears in Him, he still loves me relentlessly. How do I know this? I just do. It feels to good, worked out too perfectly, to be something I am imagining and making up. I did not get myself almost $10,000 a year in scholarships at ACU...that was all God. I have no doubt in that.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Of course as soon as I say I won't be blogging, I blog.

It's just the way my life goes. Say one thing, do another. It's a curse.

Well, I finished my government class today, thank GOD! Next class I'll finish is Economics (after I take the final), then semester two of English 4, then the blow off class, and I'll probably finish the first semester of English one last because of that dumb research paper. Lets see how close my estimates comes:)

I'm not sure if I want to work this summer. I really don't know. On one hand, this is THE LAST SUMMER of my ENTIRE life that I won't have to work. After all of this rushing to graduate and get to college and what not, it might be really nice to kind of...not do anything.

I like the sound of this. If I do decide to be a couch potato all summer, I'm staying in Albany to do so. Almost absolute isolation, which makes me smiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllleeeeeeeeeee.

Things that I would do this summer if I did absolutely nothing:
Paint a ginormous mixed media mural
Take a lot of pictures
stay in my room all day with my BRAND SPANKIN' NEW MACBOOK
Finally create my website
write to you people
read
read
read
SLEEP
........
Yep. That's it. But it'd keep me busy, right? RIGHT.

Okay. I'm about to just say screw it and be an introverted artist all summer. Oh, yes. I don't know where I'm going to get the money for the mural though, especially if I buy my own Macbook. It would be HUGE though. I'm thinking 8x8 foot. Or bigger (hahahahhaa. I just typed nigger instead of bigger. My keyboard is racist). I do know that for AT LEAST one full week after the Europe trip I'll be editing my 6,879,843,458 photos. Good Lord I'm excited.

Eh, time for a shower. I need some good music. Someone tell me somethin' good.

So,

I probably won't be posting much at all until after graduation. Got lots o' stuff to do.